Because I’ve been walking a lot and working out, I’ve been listening to music more than usual. This in turn has made me think about the music I like and why. If you guys thought my taste in movies was trashy, wait till you hear what kind of songs I like! It’s not necessarily the case that I cannot appreciate sophisticated compositions: I enjoy classical music and contemporary composers like McMillan, Glass and Pärt. In most everyday situations, however, I do prefer things that a) I can sing along to and b) function as the soundtrack to my life.

Ideally, a song should capture a mood and make my life seem more fabulous than it actually is. Listening to some music is the easiest way to upgrade your existence: unlike reading, it doesn’t really require any effort or a fully functional brain (and there are scenarios, as you will see, when this is relevant). I could easily make this list ten times as long, but I care about my readers, so let’s settle for 17:

1. Chandelier by Sia. When having a fabulous evening while simultaneously suspecting that you are having slightly too much fun. The video is amazing as well, but it has a different vibe, so for our purposes, focus on the overall epicness and the words.

2. Elegantly Wasted by INXS. When having just the right amount of fun. #partygoals (INXS has also recorded my favourite roadtrip song, Pretty in Vegas.)

3. Too Drunk to Fuck by Nouvelle Vague. When… you know. Not that you would ever need this, obviously, but it’s reassuring to have a song ready for every eventuality. (And no worries, not all the moods involve being drunk).

4. Dance of the Knights by Sergei Prokofiev. When making an entrance. You just have to time it right. Robbie Williams, who knows a thing or two about entrances (Let Me Entertain You could easily be on this list), samples this in his Party Like a Russian.

5. I Think I’m Paranoid by Garbage. When feeling extremely complex and complicated and also frustrated that no-one can really comprehend and appreciate that complexity properly. Seriously they are just not worthy.

6. Shape of my Heart by Sting. When contemplating a life of gambling. (Answer: it’s OK as long as you don’t play for the money or respect, but to find ‘the sacred geometry of chance/hidden law of the probable outcome’).

7. Soorebased by Vaiko Eplik. When dancing, fairy-like, in the bog while wearing an ethereal white dress. Or maybe when thinking about dancing in the bog. Or when wearing a white dress.

8. Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice. When aimlessly walking the streets (preferably in the rain) and considering the multiple ways you have messed up your relationships.

9. Life on Mars? by David Bowie. When they find water on Mars. Also, alternatively, when feeling androgynous/wanting to dress in an ice blue suit.

10. Remember the Name by Fort Minor. When working out. No better gym song has been invented, although Kanye’s Stronger comes close and if you are simultaneously experiencing relationship issues, try Ariana’s Problem.

11. Pynk by Janelle Monae. When feeling like a 87th wave feminist and generally super progressive. In this case, you DO need the video.

12. Caught Out There by Kelis. When hating somene so much right now, with good reason. Not to be used in big doses, but it can help (also shouldn’t be limited to the most obvious situations).

13. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley (or whichever version you prefer). When sad. The biggest misconception about living a fabulous life is that it does not involve sadness. There is no known way of feeling only some feelings deeply and not the others. ‘But you don’t really care for music, do you?’ is possibly the saddest line ever written.

14. Lost on You by Laura Pergolizzi. When having drinks with an ex with superior taste in music to constructively discuss his current relationship issues and he recommends a really good song to you.

15. King’s Dead by Kendrick Lamar, etc. When people watching in Brussels. My favourite spot is on the stairs of the church of Saint-Josse. I could easily have chosen any other song from the Black Panther soundtrack, though.

16. Killer Queen by Queen. When you need a signature song. This one is of course personal and you have to select yours yourself (although I don’t mind if you use mine); the main thing is not to be too modest. I am for example not ‘fastidious and precise’ as the lyrics suggest, but the rest is of course 100% accurate.

17. When I Kissed the Teacher by ABBA. When you have kissed the teacher (problematic in the current environment, but my greetings to the French President) or when doing karaoke.

Any additions?