There are certain elements that a functioning household is generally supposed to have: an ironing board, let’s say, or plates that fit into the dishwasher, or some actual furniture in the guest bedroom. We don’t have any of those, but we do own that essential of the essentials: an 8-litre Kilner drinks dispenser.

This incredible piece of kit does exactly what it says on the jar: it can hold and dispense 8 litres of any beverage. It has a clip top, through which you can put things in, and a tap close to the bottom for letting things out. It’s almost 40cm high, so it doesn’t really fit anywhere, but you wouldn’t want to hide its retro-fabulosity anyway.

I have not used it yet, but I’m already wondering how I ever managed without it. Because clearly, this item will solve all my problems for me. I can make pretty flavoured water with herbs and berries for the entire family without running out of it in 3 minutes. I can use it as a center piece for children’s events and not prepare any other entertainment. And, most importantly, I can have previously unimagined quantities of Pimm’s for the summer parties.

There has also been talk about using it to make liqueur out of our kumquats. But 8 litres of that sounds slightly scary even to me…