I’m a relatively upbeat person: not one of those eternal rays of sunshine who bounce around non-stop and scare me a little bit, but I’m not melancholy or negative by nature. As I’m quite extrovert and enthusiastic – some would maybe call me intense -, other people usually don’t associate me with sadness either. While I can be impatient, snappish and occasionally angry, prolonged dark moods aren’t really my thing.

That doesn’t mean I’m never sad or anxious or blue, of course. Recent weeks have been a case in point: the rise of the far right in Estonia combined with some personal pressures has really got me down*. I do not say this to court sympathy, both me and my country are still doing much better than most and I’m fully aware of it. I also don’t like to complain and can panic when I think people feel sorry for me (that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate genuine empathy).

I do, however, feel almost an obligation to indicate once in a while that my life isn’t just made of blissful skincare rituals, fulfilling work, pretty dresses and idyllic Sundays with family. There has been a lot of talk recently of how the relentless positivity and curated feeds of social media contribute to people’s unrealistic expectations and standards in life and ultimately, create more unhappiness. While I struggle to see why anyone would assume someone’s Instagram account represents their entire being, I do understand that theoretically knowing something isn’t the same as actually fully getting it. If every single photo is beautiful and every post is full of happiness, the brain will draw conclusions. So this is one reason I mention my recent mood.

The other is not only about social media but our culture in general. It has become almost taboo to be sad and non-positive and any feelings of gloominess need to be instantly cured by correct thinking, self-care and other constructive strategies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for having a lovely cup of tea, meditation or buying a new lipstick to cope with the world. We all should have a few tricks in our arsenal that instantly lift our mood – comfort reading has always been one such for me and recently, exercise has done wonders. I also look at expensive clothes and skincare on the Internet. I find it soothing.

That said, if something has made you sad, it makes sense to me to BE sad for a bit. Personally, I actually need to experience my emotions to safely and sanely emerge on the other side. I’m fortunate, as it usually doesn’t take me long (I’m not talking about full-blown grief or heartbreak here or constant anxiety over health or financial troubles), but it will take me a while. Suppressing all negative emotions or trying to get over them immediately never worked for me in the long term: all those things I’ve tried to shove out of the way have come back to haunt me. Better to face them, suffer somewhat and move on when ready. Self-pity, ranting and drama are all fine and healthy in small doses, in my view.

Sadness is not a disease (unless it is, but that’s a different story). Feeling down does not mean we have failed in life. We have to give ourselves permission not to be 100% on at all times; not to be always happy, shiny and on top emotional form.

*It is my highly unscientific opinion that despite the occurrence of depression in our family, I’m not prone to this specific malady. The nature of that illness to me is that it gives zero fucks about reality and can affect people entirely randomly. My periods of gloom are always directly related to real life events and pass once things improve.