I generally function well in stressful situations. Especially in work context, I thrive under pressure and often perform better and faster when the stakes are high or I need to deliver several important things simultaneously. I even deal relatively well with uncertainty – I can hold several potential scenarios in my head without going crazy. I tend to believe that everything will work out in the end, so why fret.

There are limits to this breeziness, however. What I find most difficult is not being able to influence the situation even by doing your very best and/or not knowing the rules – and both have been the case in recent weeks. It of course doesn’t help if at the same time, your personal life is being uprooted: my boyfriend of 20 years is moving to a different country in a few days (because of a job) and the family life needs to be rearranged around that.

So how to deal? I have no magical solutions to offer and what I am going to say is mostly entirely obvious, but these are the things I’ve found helpful. And if you think I’m writing this because it is my way to manage stress… then you are probably right.

1. Do as much exercise as you can. I’m sure you knew I was going to say that, but seriously, it helps so much. Obviously when you are in the process of deadlifting 80 kilos, it’s difficult to focus on anything else, so the entire time you are busy with actual exercise is safe from any unpleasant thoughts. I realise it’s difficult to exercise ALL THE TIME, so it’s helpful that the endorphins stick around for a while and make you feel better, as does the feeling of being strong and capable. I have been training three times a week for a while now and it’s been great. I’m also going to have my first boxing lesson next Tuesday. I expect this to do wonders for my stress levels.

2. Read whatever your ‘guilty pleasure’ genre is.* When the stress comes from too much work and being constantly wired up, it’s one thing. It’s a bit different when it’s about NOT having much to do and feeling anxious and constantly overthinking. For me, reading something engaging helps with both. I don’t really think any book should be called a guilty pleasure – pleasure is pleasure -, but in these situations I often find it difficult to focus on challenging, very literary or very fact-dense books. I want gripping page-turners and if they provide a good dose of wish-fulfillment, even better. For me, it usually means fantasy and science fiction, often more on the YA side of things. But it could also be thrillers or romance or horror. Or maybe you get the same effect from reading Charles Dickens.

3. Go to your happy place. This can be both literal and metaphorical, although I focus on the latter here. For me, it’s related to point 2, because I enjoy reading so much. Doing whatever the thing is you love is often the best way to deal with stress. It is not always entirely straightforward, though, as stress can suck out the joy from your favourite things. As I said, it can make my attention flit and therefore limit my reading choices. Sometimes it makes blogging difficult: stress can kill the mental state I need to feel inspired. But it’s worth persevering and making it work.

4. Take back control. Of course the best thing would be to take control of whatever the thing is that is causing the stress and anxiety, but that’s not always possible. There are other things you can control, however, and that can provide relief. I can find myself obsessively decluttering my skincare stash or organising my wardrobe and as these things need to be done anyway, I’m almost grateful to have the motivation. You can also improve your language or design or whatever other skills that you know will be useful and will boost your confidence in the process. Even just planning your day like a badass lifestyle guru or writing to-do lists can be helpful.

5. Buy that dress if you need to. I know we are all conscious of the fact that you cannot cure your troubles with alcohol or shopping or whatever your poison happens to be. And of course if you have an addictive relationship with something, this point is not for you. But I’m going to be controversial and say that sometimes, a short-term solution is still a solution. Two drinks and a rant with a colleague who understands your predicament can make you sluggish next morning, but also prevent a major blow-up with your boss. Buying new, amazing clothes is indeed a superficial remedy, but can make that difficult day in the office so much easier to bear. Sure, nothing fundamental will be resolved, but if resolution isn’t available at that point in time anyway, surviving another day can be a worthy goal.

6. Take care of yourself. I already mentioned exercise; it is equally important to eat well, sleep well, take care of your body and mind. Again, it is not going to make your worries go away, but everything is so much worse if you are sleep-deprived, hungry and your skin is acting up. I have been observing myself closely and it’s ridiculous how much difference one good meal can make. Be religious in making sure you go to bed at a reasonable time, eat regularly, have snacks ready AT ALL TIMES, take your makeup off and get that massage.

How do you deal with stress? Do my points make sense to you?

*I am aware that this is relevant only for people who are already readers. If even thinking about reading makes you panic, this is obviously not the tip for you.