A little while ago, I wrote a piece about perfumes men “should” try. This prompted a surprising amount of conversations both on and off line, with men and women alike – about why and how to smell, about the experiences with scents I suggested, about perfume-related revelations and frustrations. It’s been fascinating to discuss these things and what follows is a post to address some of the topics that have come up.

Before I proceed, I want to make very clear (again), that I don’t think people should be interested in perfume. Some people find stamps fascinating, some don’t. This is how it should be. I also don’t think that wearing expensive niche perfumes is better than wearing Axe – to each their own. But I can only write from my own experience, based on what I find interesting and worthwhile. It’s not for everybody, but this is what I have to offer.

There seem to be some people who take perverse pleasure in declaring that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WORKS FOR THEM and every time they smell something they don’t immediately like, it cements this view and, I can only assume, their belief in their own specialness. I cannot help them. I write for people who want to explore and understand their taste and for that, failure is not the opposite of success. Although eventually, hopefully, there will of course also be pleasure and excitement and fun.

I don’t think there are any rules to smelling things, at least not universal ones. However, looking for a perfume or just sniffing around can be confusing or intimidating even for those who are genuinely interested. It’s with that in mind that I have written down a few things that I have learned and feel could be potentially helpful to others.

1. Take your time. This is the most important non-rule, but often also the most difficult to follow. Not everyone wants to spend hours, days or weeks looking for a perfume. They want to go to a store, sniff a couple of things and buy a bottle on the spot. If at all possible, do not do that. Perfumes develop and what seemed like a lovely sparkly citrus in the beginning can turn into a maddening laundry musk an hour later. This applies both to high quality, complex perfumes (because they often have intricate structures and change considerably over time) and less complex mainstream ones (because whatever budget was allocated for the scent is concentrated in the first 5 minutes, to entice you to buy the stuff right away). Generally, I would recommend never to buy the perfume on the same day you smell it, but even taking 30 minutes to walk around and then re-smell the thing can be hugely helpful.

2. Always test on the skin. By all means, use paper strips to narrow down potential contenders, but never, ever buy anything you haven’t tried on your skin. I absolutely adore Guerlain Jicky extrait on paper and have almost bought it twice, but on my skin, it unfortunately develops this very specific animalistic nuance that I cannot stand. Every time I go to a Guerlain shop I get tempted and every time I have to remind myself that it still doesn’t work. As that tiny bottle costs close to 400 euros, it’s not an irrelevant consideration. Spray the perfume on your wrist and smell it throughout the day to make sure you still like it. If possible, repeat on another day.

3. Write things down. If you smell more than two things, write the names down. In fact, if you only smell two things, write them down as well. I have been testing perfumes for a long time and I constantly overestimate my ability to identify the scents later on. “Surely I can tell this jasmine from the rose and that leather from the woody one, they are all completely different!” Well, nope. Ten minutes later, they will no longer resemble whatever you smelled at first and you’ll be hopelessly confused. Write the names on the paper strips you use and if you have several scents on your arms, draw a little map with what is where. Although I have been known to write directly on my skin, when necessary.

4. Forget about the silly coffee. I don’t know why even good perfume shops tell you to smell coffee to clear your nose. It’ll not clear your nose, it’ll add another (rather powerful!) scent to the mix. When your nose gets overwhelmed, the only thing to do is to stop smelling. If you want to continue, go out of the shop for a while, breathe some fresh air and come back a little bit later.

5. Do not be bullied by the SA. This is also an important one. Always, always remember that the only person who knows what you really like to smell is you. No matter how great an expert the Sales Assistant is, she doesn’t have access to your nose or brain. And often, SAs aren’t even well-informed and may try to bully you into a hasty purchase or force their opinions on you. Do not let them do that. If in doubt, walk out. And ask for samples of things you’d like to test in peace, although this can be a horrible ordeal. Fortunately, there are many places where the service is excellent, but be prepared to stand your ground if it isn’t.

6. Consider niche stores. Now, as I said, there is no need to go super expensive or exclusive to find a perfume you truly love. However, if you feel like exploring different scents, it can be a good idea to find an environment with a more interesting selection than a random department store. As a rule, you will also be much better guided in a specialised boutique, but nothing is guaranteed, of course. The downside is that the scents tend to be more expensive and not necessarily super accessible. If you’re interested, I have a post about seven niche brands to start with.

7. Smell different things. You may think you only like florals of aquatic scents or lots of vanilla, but don’t be too sure. I have surprised myself by loving many things I never thought I would, vetiver and lavender among them. I even used to think that iris is probably too sophisticated for me, and now it’s one of the notes I love the most. In any case, you’ll never know if you only every sniff things that smell exactly like that old perfume you used to have.

8. Prepare and be patient (optional). If you follow the advice above, you should be able to find something that works, unless ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WORKS FOR YOU. If you want to go the extra mile, though, I believe a little preparation helps. Do some online or friend-based research, wroite down a few things you’d like to sniff, give some thought to which shop might suit your budget and preferences the best. Also, pay attention to the smells and what you like: in life, on other people, on yourself. It’s amazing how often we are just not aware of the smells around us. And if you’re in it for the long haul, patience can be a virtue in the sniffing game. There will be scents that will win you over immediately and others that will take several tries before suddenly revealing themselves to be the perfumes of your dreams. These moments, I think, are worth all the time and trouble.

I break my own rules frequently: sometimes I make very quick decisions and I have bought things online without smelling them at all. This is fine if your budget can handle it and you can deal with disappointment – and the risk of failure is lower if you know your taste very well. But as I said, there’s no such thing as a universal rule.

Let me know what you are currently wearing and if you have any sniffing tips of your own.