Remember how I praised the virtues of a dark, statement lip? Or how I said that wearing pink in spring is, frankly, unimaginative? I hope you don’t, because what have I actually bought this spring? Two understated pinky nudes. To make things worse, these aren’t even lipsticks! I’m not a big lip gloss person, but somehow, this is what I’ve ended up with. For weeks now, I’ve not been feeling anything dramatic on my face (with the exception of this), I’ve been drawn to simple, masculine clothes with almost no make-up.

At least I’m happy with what I got. Rouge Dior Brilliant Lipshine and Care in Swan (263)is a lovely neutral rosy pink lip gloss. It’s not very glossy, there is no sparkle, the colour is excellent for my complexion and works with everything. I cannot wear things that are too nude, too devoid of colour, or I’ll just look dead. This one feels very luxurious on the lips and it better, for that price (35 euros). I have not been a big fan of Dior lip products so far, but this one is great. This specific colour option looks lovely with all my greys and blues and pinks.

As this was working so well for me, the logical thing was of course to go out and buy basically the same thing. YSL Gloss Volupte in Beige Nu (210) is not a million miles away from the Dior, but in my defense, it is less pink, creamier, even more moisturising and stronger-smelling. It has has hint of mauve that rescues it from being to beige and deadly for me. If you’ve ever worn YSL Volupte Shine lipsticks, these two formulations are clearly related – the gloss is just more liquid. The YSL is perfect when I wear something in the tan-beige family.

Neither of them is sticky or crazy glossy. There is no sparkle and especially the Dior has a very sophisticated finish. They are also new releases, so there’s the excitement factor. Wear time is limited, but this is to be expected from glosses, no matter how refined. They are, indeed, very nice options when you want to dress down your lips.

Now, like it wasn’t enough to have boring lips, I went ahead and also bought the most understated nail polish out there: Chanel Ballerina. Any more understated than that would just mean washing your hands. It is a sheer very pale pink that can be built up to a bit more opaque coverage. It’s one of the classic Chanels and I’ve wanted it for a long time, although it doesn’t really do anything a good Essie cannot do. But it does fit my current mood very well.

As a belated and desperate attempt to make things a little bit more interesting, I bought the Dior Eclosion Topcoat to wear over the Ballerina. I was essentially very, very suspicious of this polish, as it looked like some sort of gimmicky item for teenagers. But in fact I really like the effect, it’s a grown-up version of a glitter polish, with more-or-less matte pale blue, mint, pink and yellow bits suspended in clear polish.

I’m wearing two coats here (on top of two coats of Ballerina), to make the effect more visible – you will not have much geometric fun with one coat only. But I think I do actually prefer one coat of very sparse ‘non-sparkle’ – it looks very modern, very Raf Simons, almost… understated.