Everybody loves holidays. Considering this universal love for holidays, it’s funny how often we are in fact disappointed in them. We over or under pack, we try to cram too many activities into one week, we have unrealistic expectations and snap at our family/friends/pets. People living in a cold climate are especially vulnerable: as we see the sun so rarely, we tend to lose all sense of proportion and connection to reality when faced with a couple of weeks in a warm climate; or even a summer holiday at home. Hence the idea for this post.

Obviously, all holidays are different and not everything below is applicable in all situations. I’m imagining an archetypical vacation in the sun that mostly involves reading by the pool and walking on the beach – inspired largely by my recent stay in Martinique. And of course, when I say ‘rules’, what I actually mean is ‘some things I myself should have learned long time ago but you have surely already mastered/are completely free to ignore’. So with these caveats, this is the sum of my wisdom:

1. Just wear the damn SPF. I know you don’t want to, you want to be tan, you don’t want to be on the beach, all white and wobbly and have those Southern types laugh at you. I feel exactly the same, but it’s much better to be white than to be pink – trust me on this. There is nothing more crushing to your holiday mojo than sunburn. Be especially careful on the first day, when people tend to underestimate the sun and consequently ruin most of the holiday with their enthusiastic sunbathing.

2. Seriously, put that SPF everywhere. If there is one thing even more stupid than not using SPF, that’s using SPF but ONLY SELECTIVELY. On Martinique, I reached peak ridiculous by acquiring burnt toes and a pink sideboob. I suggest you avoid that and make sure your ears, hairline, armpits and all other awkward places are covered.

3. I’m not saying you should be white, though. That’s what self-tanners are for. I am hopeless with serious self-tan products, but I can manage to use a gradual tanner for a week before holiday – and I think it’s the best, most natural option anyway. If planning is not your thing, take a wash-off product with you and use it before leaving the hotel. In case you’ve made up your mind to get a real tan (I sometimes do, despite the dangers), I’m not going to judge, but SPF and avoiding the most intense sun are still mandatory.

4. There’s no need to be trendy. You know that my love for trends is considerably above the average, but beach holidays are like rock concerts – the goal is not to look like you are a valued customer at Net-a-Porter, but like you belong. We are aiming for the impression that you spend a considerable amount of your time travelling with the band/surfing with the cute boys/yachting on the Mediterranean/partying on Ibiza (delete as appropriate).

5. Adopt a holiday personality. So instead of buying a huge amount of shiny new things, pick a style that would always work for summer (you can pick several, of course) and add to it every year. Holiday trends don’t really change much – you can always do bohemian in tunics and tie-dye, classic in stripes and white trousers, pretty in a flattering yellow sundress, cool in khaki shorts and tank top and so on. Several of these things actually look better when well loved and a bit faded.

6. Spend money on footwear and that SPF. When I say ‘spend’, I don’t necessarily mean you need to pay huge amounts for these things, but they need to be good quality. Your feet will be hot and swollen and uncomfortable shoes will just make it so much worse. It’s worth taking some time to find sandals or another type of flat shoe that works for you both physically and aesthetically. Same story with sunscreen – a thick, sticky, greyish white lotion will just make you feel depressed during the entire vacation or, worse, give up applying it entirely. I prefer oils, as they feel nicer and are easier to use, but I make sure to pick a brand with excellent reputation. Other things to consider spending on: a classic swimsuit (in case you’re a swimmer) and proper sunglasses (in case you have sensitive eyes).

7. Do not spend money on clothes or bags. I mean, you can. I’m never going to tell you to not spend money on something you want and can spend on. But if you have to be smart about your budgeting, this is where I would save. I’ve said this before – if you live in the north, you will need your holiday clothes maybe a couple of weeks a year. So unless you are at lake Como with Amal Clooney (in which case, start shopping for that Amal-worthy wardrobe NOW), forget about labels. Go for things that flatter and are made of nice, breathable materials. If you want to make a statement, the easiest way is to use colour: all white or a long dress in turquoise will be more effective than any logo. And as for bags – on the beach, a raffia tote or a faded fabric bag will always look cooler than an IT-bag.

8. Take a really good cleanser. Even better – take two. You might be thinking that as you’re not using much makeup, you don’t really need it. But you WILL be using SPF (see points 1 and 2) and that’s difficult to get off, not to mention all the sweat and grime you’ll likely have on your face. I cannot emphasise enough how important cleansing is in the heat.

9. Always, always pack a sweater. It will be colder than you think. And even if it will not be, you’ll be grateful for your cashmere sweater on the plane.

PS Separate posts on holiday things/holiday reading to follow. I’ve already written about my in-flight beauty bag on the way to Martinique.